Battleship Review

As what could be considered a semi successor to ‘’Battle Los Angeles’’, ‘’Battleship’’ at first certainly seems at least mildly better produced than the average summer action flick. When seen however, it becomes clear that some half decent special effects and explosions cannot withstand the barrage of flaws including a clichéd script, wasted celebrity talent and the botched premise of being based on a popular board game.

If you’re one of the many movie goers who saw the strangely familiar looking conflict between US Marines and alien forces last year, you’ll probably notice a strikingly large amount of similarities between the two films. The most obvious being the posters bearing a striking resemblance with the main character facing towards the alien invader. Secondly both films well known celebrities who both serve shallow performances and only serve to bring more attention to the generic premise (In this case world famous pop singer Rihanna). Thirdly both movies drag their already tiresome plots on further with the notion that the aliens simply have to be destroyed by the main characters, rather than the more sensible option to fall back and wait for reinforcements. If all audiences knew these similarities the movie probably wouldn't receive attention in the slightest.

The plot of ‘’Battleship’’ concerns yet another alien invasion of Earth, this time based mostly at sea in preparation for a ground invasion. Lieutenant Alex Hopper (Who had recently enlisted after a shameful attempt to impress his now incredibly tolerant girlfriend) finds command thrust upon him when they discover the enemy they are facing is not human. The aliens themselves are seen fairly little for the most part, hiding inside their high tech space suits and/or their massive high tech battleships. What little we do see are essentially humanoid creatures with a hint of bushy facial hair to differ them from their opponents. Unfortunately unlike the incendiary wielding troopers fought by Aaron Eckhart’s team, these aliens lack any sort of menace whatsoever due to a painfully slow slog through the bowels of the USS John Paul Jones when the alien does show its strength but seems more concerned with disabling the ship’s systems rather than disintegrating the puny humans, emptying countless rounds into its bulletproof suit. The same applies to their technology, while the alien battleships do look somewhat threatening at first; they end up being destroyed easily with modern weapons and even a decommissioned World War 2 era battleship later on. Instead the aliens rely on cheap tactics; seemingly indestructible razor balls that tear through ships like they’re made of paper. This poor design decision severely reduces the odds against the humans and as a result the movie’s excitement factor takes a critical hit. At this point when it seems the movie has run out of ideas already, you’ll be surprised to find a scene that pays a hefty tribute to the board game Battleship and while this ends up being the highlight of the film, it ends up only serving as a glorified advertisement. Chances are in the weeks the movie has in cinemas, clips from this scene are sure to be played on TV, assuming that the classic board game is still on the market.

With lacklustre action scenes that fail to add great excitement you’d think that the couple of big name actors would pull through, delivering top notch performances; sadly this isn’t the case with Liam Neeson’s shallow portrayal of Admiral Shane. While he certainly has the authority you’d expect from a top ranking Navy Officer, his character is quickly cast aside and ends up sitting on the outside of the alien’s force field for most of the movie. Don’t expect much from Taylor Kitsch and Brooklyn Decker either; they’re only the same, underdeveloped, dull and clichéd hero and love interest we’ve gotten accustomed to over the years. As for Rihanna’s debut in the world of Hollywood it’s managed to scrape the top of some poorly done acting in the past decade; while it’s understandable that this is her first feature film and she had little experience in the acting department, the popular singer was probably drafted into the cast during filming to raise interest before the film’s release. With her performance being just as wooden as the rest of the characters, her foray into acting ends up being a hefty miss.

In the end that’s the best way to describe ‘’Battleship’’ as yet another average action movie attempting to capitalise on movie goers who never become bored of constant explosions. While these audiences will be satisfied, the special effects are mostly acceptable for the genre and a sequel is likely to begin production sooner or later, there are much more worthwhile ways to enjoy your time at the cinema.

Rating: 2/5 Stars